In early February, I hosted a dinner party for a group of my friends who happen to be entrepreneurs (this was back during pre-Corona days… feels like a lifetime ago!).
As the host I wanted to start a meaningful dinner party conversation, so I asked my guests to answer 3 questions that reflected how they were feeling at the start of this new decade:
Where were you 10 years ago?
Where are you now?
Where do you imagine you’ll be 10 years from now?
It was fascinating as we each started talking about where we came from, where we are and where we were going — our vision for the future and our dreams for what we wanted to accomplish.
Some people went deep into the goals they’d achieved and the goals that slipped away… and I started to see the trajectory of each person’s life unfold before my eyes.
Then one of my dear friends — Rikka Zimmerman — said something that really stuck with me…
“It’s not just about what you’ll be doing in 10 years or what you’ve accomplished or achieved. It’s about who you’re BEING in the world and how you feel every day.” – Rikka Zimmerman
So let me ask you: Who do you see yourself being and becoming to realize the greatest vision you have, for your life and your business?
Traditional Plans Leave Out Something BIG
If you’re “left-brain” oriented, and you love charts and to-do lists and time blocks on your calendar, you might have a hard time wrapping your mind around the concept of being and becoming versus doing.
So I’d like for you to stop for a moment, take a breath and think of it this way…
Focusing on who you are and who you want to become so you can live out your vision of success isn’t some kind of wild “woo woo” idea…
It’s really strategic planning for your state of being.
As entrepreneurs, we’re asked to focus on what we’re doing and what we want to achieve from Day 1.
But I’ve found that thinking about what you really want and who you want to become through this journey of entrepreneurship is just as important — and sometimes even more important — if you want to build both a business and a life that you love.
Don’t get me wrong…
I have no problem with “traditional” 1, 3 and 10 year visions and plans (here’s a behind-the-scenes look at my personal 1 and 10-year business plans).
But most old-school business plans leave out something big and it’s an essential element for lasting success today… and that’s YOU!
Traditional business plans don’t account for who you are and who you want to become to get to where you want to go and that’s kinda crazy, in my book.
Think about it…
Your business is ultimately a reflection of you…
Your values, your beliefs, who you want to serve and how you want to show up (that’s why you need a Brand Voice Statement).
And the truth is your business wouldn’t exist without you.
It’s Not the Journey and It’s Not the Destination
I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “It’s the journey not the destination” and it’s one of the most popular quotes on achieving success and getting to your goals.
But I don’t fully agree with Emerson.
When it comes to creating success in your life and business, it’s not the journey or the destination…
It’s both.
Just like in Lord of the Rings and so many of the other great epic movies, books and stories; the inner transformation of the protagonist — the hero or the heroine in the story — is just as important as the outer quest or adventure that’s taking place.
And that inner transformation captures the hearts and minds of audiences around the world because deep down, we know that any great goal or quest or dream requires powerful internal changes and shifts
In other words it’s not just about Frodo Baggins getting to Mordor and it’s not just about who Frodo becomes on the way to Mordor…
It’s both.
It Brought Me to Tears
When Rikka said, “It’s not just about what you’ll be doing in 10 years or what you’ve accomplished or achieved. It’s about who you’re BEING in the world and how you feel every day,” it got me reflecting on my own life.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve believed success was all about what I did, what I achieved and how many goals I managed to hit and it didn’t have anything to do with who I was as a human being.
But all that changed recently when a roomful of people stood up and cheered and clapped for 3 whole minutes just because I was being me (check out the full story here).
The whole experience was so shocking and so transformational, that it’s changed my entire worldview about life and business.
And now I’m a true believer that success comes to those who know how to be who they truly are…
Those who know how to be true to themselves
I remember when Murray and I were at a relationship workshop a while back and we were supposed to ask questions from a deck of conversation cards.
Murray drew the Connection Card with this question for me…
“What’s your biggest secret desire?”
At first, nothing came to mind and I didn’t know what to say. Then out of nowhere, the answer came to me.
And it brought me to tears.
I realized that my biggest secret desire is to be loved not for everything I’ve done in the world but for who I am and how I make people feel.
But so much of my life has been spent trying to be loved for what I do and I’ve lost perspective on how important my BEING-ness is and how much more I can be loved for who I am rather than what I do.
And that’s why that day in that room, when all those people stood up and clapped and cheered it landed so deeply and so permanently…
That my life and work and the success I’m experiencing is as much about being and becoming as it is about doing…
And that I can’t lead others without being in full alignment with myself. And staying in alignment is a daily practice.
So here’s the takeaway…
Success isn’t just about DO-ing, it’s about BE-ing and when we focus on being fully aligned with our values and becoming the best version of ourselves…
When we focus on the journey and the destination…
That’s when we get to fulfill the greatest vision, purpose and potential of who we are and what we’re born to do…
That’s when we get to serve at the highest level and experience success in all areas of our life and business.
Ready to really grow your business and your impact? Then, join me for the ONLY business-building event where you’ll leave with a shorter to-do list than when you arrived!
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We’ll spend 3 days together virtually, working on your business and YOUR unique growth blueprint. As my premium business growth and networking event, tickets routinely go for $1,000 since the information is that valuable.
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See you virtually March 3-5, 2023 🙂
Love it? Hate it? Let me know...
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Marisa, I’m so happy you’re nudging us, like Rikka, to explore and notice more deeply Being. It’s more than personal/individual
being, it’s witnessing larger group and collective Being. What a wild ride we’re on right now. Good too, tending to feeling states. I love,
and often quote Danielle LaPorte: “The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.” If we value peace and joy, consciously we must claim it now, and abandon ego foolishness suggesting it’s available when some “doing” is accomplished.-
Beautifully put Elaine and what a great quote! I totally agree that while you may need to make compromises on the journey, you can’t sacrifice now for later.
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This is such a treasure, Marisa! In one elegant equation you captured the #1 Problem-Solution formula for humanity’s harmonious evolution towards our highest potential. “Being & Doing, Journey & Destination. Focus in both simultaneously.”
That dichotomy between focusing on Being OR Doing has been what has delayed my journey to “giving my gifts” and has made “fulfilling my destiny” such a fuzzy target.
Thank you! The Clarity that your simple yet profound Magic Formula gives me is…precious! -
This is such a treasure, Marisa! In one elegant equation you captured the #1 Problem-Solution formula for humanity’s harmonious evolution towards our highest potential. “Being & Doing, Journey & Destination. Focus in both simultaneously.”
That dichotomy between focusing on Being OR Doing has been what has delayed my journey to “giving my gifts” and has made “fulfilling my destiny” such a fuzzy target.
Thank you! The Clarity that your simple yet profound Magic Formula gives me is…precious!-
So glad this landed for you Dr. Amore. It is so easy to focus on one or the other rather than find a fully integrated approach that honors ALL of you. I’m excited to be helping you on this journey this year! <3
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Thank you so much for sharing this. 💗💗💗
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You are welcome Cristina!!!
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Pogo, the cartoon character (1948-1975)lamented “Everywhere I go, there I am again” underscores the necessity to be clear about who you are BEING versus where you are going.
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